Friday, November 16, 2012

Motherhood Diaries

It is really interesting to see how being a mother made me even more
sensitive. I think I take things even more personal than ever before.
I hope to gain some thick neck qualities as I go down this road but so
far I am feeling melancholy over these pre-baby moments:)

1. Washing my hair as I wish and having time to dry/style it. Now
showers take less than 5 minutes and showering with the baby is a very
slippery experience that freaks me out.
2. Having time to contemplate, think, meditate. This might be a good
thing in the long run as I practice fast decision making, with many
mistakes on the way but I am gaining experience instead of thinking
for days over the next meal to next big trip.
3. Regular yoga practice, I see yoga-glo as my remedy.
4. Running....sigh...just sigh...
5. Cooking religiously, at least with 3-4 different spices, two-three
dishes, I eat mostly baby food with rice and of course sweets and
chocolate. Baby drinks smoothies, I have my coffee. I really don't
know why I can not get to make smoothies for three, but always two.
6. Having an my "past" opinion, a girl without an
earing, is missing out feminine power:)
7. Time with friends
8. Undivided attention from my husband

I think there is more but does it really matter at this point, maybe
this is the time to look into what matters the most..Sure I do want to
feel feminine and sexy but I like to believe that having an earring by
no means make me any more feminine than carring a child on my arms. It
is crazy how my perspective changed. So now without having to
experience any different thing, I see the value of being open and
flexible on my other "must haves".....I just have to step out of the
picture and see the other side without judgement. Nothing is perfect
and that is the real perfection of life. The ever growing love between
my baby and having a family by no means is an easy job and a pink love
story. There are many shades but so far it keeps getting better
through communication and honesty. I am so happy that my life is as
real as it gets, we don't have much money but we do live next to a
farm in a city and I get to do laundry everyday, wash dirty diapers
and wake up next to the most beautiful smells in the world with little
feet on my face.

That's a lot of venting on this perfect friday date night! Thanks for reading!

Worth watching...

These days I am spending way too much time worrying about my next job.
It is an itching uncomfortable feeling, it must be the price of living
in the USA again. The opportunities seem endless, yet the competition
is fierce and starting something on my own is very very expensive.

These two talks have been eye opening to me

this one especially about how we relate to material goods, money is not evil...

and this one about women's role in the working world, and it does make
me feel I want to be part of her team...not necessarily at Facebook
but I like the way she thinks. It is interesting that both my
grandmother and mother made it all the way up in their careers,
whereas I choose to stay at home and wash cloth diapers...Now I know
why... I had nothing fun to go back to since the baby's birth.

And news on the baby ground, we are at month 11...Wow, he is the most
beautiful creature I have ever seen and the most challenging. Great
teacher and a great gift. He is walking, laughing, dancing. He makes
me the happiest person one minute, the most frustrated and angry the
next moment. Most of all, he makes me love my mother so much more than
I ever thought I could, also all the other moms of the world, that
would include your mom and you if you are one...